Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
