My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
