nutella sex= disaster
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
