When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
