piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
