Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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