Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
