Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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