The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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