i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think a kid would responsible me up
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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