i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize