I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
