im about as happy as oj after his trial
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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