Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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