we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
