if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
