I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
