I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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