Where did you get a picture of my penis
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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