went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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