What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
