We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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