Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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