I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
