I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
