Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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