what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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