But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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