So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
