Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
