I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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