its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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