You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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