Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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