i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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