Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
