i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
