glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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