Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
