So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
