If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
