apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
