so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
that is very illegal...i love you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
