I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
