if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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