they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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