you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
