Don't you send me to vm
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
