I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
