I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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