Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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