4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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