Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
