Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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